If you have been so
bugged on the issue of ‘how to raise healthy children’, then you must read
through this article (nonstop).
We guarantee that things
will change in you after reading this article. Perhaps you have a kind of
orientation that is either good or bad compared to the information here, we
implore you to read till the end and then, compare the contents with your
orientation.
How
can one raise healthy children then?
- Know your children
Everyone
thinks he/she knows the best way to raise a child, but it turns out that
parenting is not one-size-fits-all. In fact, a child whose parents tailor their
parenting style to his/her personality has half the anxiety and depression of
their peers with rigid parents, according to a study published in August 2011
in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology. It turns out that some children,
especially those with trouble regulating their emotions, might need a little
extra help from their parents but parents can inadvertently hurt well-adjusted children
with too much hovering. The key, said lead researcher Liliana Lengua of the
University of Washington, is, “stepping in with support based on a child’s cues”.
- Do not aim for perfection
Nobody is
perfect, so do not torture yourself with an impossibly high bar for parenting
success. According to a study published in 2011 in the journal ‘Personality and
Individual Differences’ new parents who believe society expects perfection from
them are more stressed and less confident in their parenting skills. Instead,
you should make an effort to ignore the pressure: you may find yourself more
relaxed as a parent.
- Sweat a little sassing
Teens who
talk back to their parents may be exasperating but their argumentativeness is
linked to a stronger rejection of peer pressure outside the home. In
other words, autonomy at home fosters autonomy among friends.
Do not worry
though, because the study does not suggest that children should have
adversarial relationships with their parents. In fact, a secure bond between
teens and mothers is linked to less bowing to peer pressure. Teens need to
practice standing up for themselves, the researchers reported, but they also
need support from their parents.
- Mothers should be good to their sons
A close
relationship with their mothers can keep boys from acting out, according
to a 2010 study. A warm, attached relationship with mom seems important in
preventing behavior problems in sons, even more so than in girls, the research
found. The findings, published in the journal ‘Child Development’, highlighted
the need for "secure attachment" between children and their parents,
a style in which children can go to both parents as a comforting "secure
base" before venturing into the wider world.
As another study
reported in 2010 showed, ‘a close relationship with one's mother in early
adolescence (by age 14) was associated with better-quality romantic
relationships (later in life) as young adults’. "Parents' relationships
with their children are extremely important and that's how we develop our
ability to have successful relationships as adults, our parents are our models",
study researcher, Constance Gager of Montclair State University in New Jersey, affirmed.
Saying, "So if kids are not feeling close with their parents then they're
probably not going to model the positive aspects of that relationship when they
reach adulthood".
- Tend to your mental health
If you
suspect that you are depressed then get help — for your own sake and your
child’s. A research suggests that depressed mothers struggle with parenting and
even show muted responses to their babies’ cries compared with
healthy mothers.
Depressed
moms with negative parenting styles may also contribute to their children’s
stress, according to 2011 research which found that children raised by these
mothers are more easily stressed out by the preschool years, but researchers
say they are hopeful, because positive parenting can be taught even when parents
struggle with their own mental health.
- Nurture your marriage
Do not let
your relationship with your spouse or partner fall by the wayside when baby is
born. Parents who suffer from marital instability, such as contemplating
divorce, may set their infants up for sleep troubles in toddlerhood,
according to research published in May 2011 in the journal ‘Child Development’.
The study found that a troubled marriage, when a baby is 9 months, old
contributes to trouble sleeping when the child is 18 months of age. It may be
that troubled houses are stressful houses, and that stress is the cause of the
sleep problems.
- Let go
When children
fly the nest, research suggests it is best to let them go. College freshmen
with hovering, interfering "helicopter" parents are more
likely to be anxious, self-conscious and less open to new experiences than
their counterparts with more relaxed parents. That does not mean you should
kick your offspring to the curb at 18, but if you find yourself calling your
child’s professors to argue about his grades, it may be time to step back.
- Foster self-compassion
Research
suggests that self-compassion is a very important life skill, helping
people stay resilient in the face of challenges. Self-compassion is made up of
mindfulness, the ability to manage thoughts and emotions without being carried
away or repressing them, common humanity, or empathy with the suffering of
others, and self-kindness, a recognition of your own suffering and a commitment
to solving the problem (especially of others). Parents can use self-compassion
when coping with difficulties in child-rearing. In doing so, they can set an
example for their children.
- Be positive
Parents who
express negative emotions toward their infants or handle them roughly are
likely to find themselves with aggressive kindergartners. That is bad
news, because behavioral aggression at age 5 is linked to aggression later in
life, even toward future romantic partners. So if you find yourself in a cycle
of angry parents, angry babies, try to break free. It will ease your problems
in the long run.
- Joking helps
Joking with
your toddler helps set them up for social success, according to research
presented at the Economic and Social Research Councils’ Festival of Social
Science, 2011. When parents joke and pretend, it gives children the tools to
think creatively, make friends and manage stress.
The spiritual perspective of issues
The Bible
encouraged us to teach children in the knowledge of God for the overall
benefits of humankind, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he
is old, he will not depart from it”.
In addition,
our Lord, Jesus Christ, expanded that as parents (who know how to give good
gifts to their children) God will not withhold anything good from us (His
children). The juxtaposition of God’s act of love, kindness and mercy with
parents’ loving acts to their children signifies that ‘more of the future of a
child lies in the hands of the parents’.
Hence, if
you desire (as a parent) to have happy, healthy and beautiful children while
your life experiences peace (also), you got to observe the things discussed so
far in this article.
